No longer do I feel like I have to fight. No longer do I feel unsettled. No longer do the feelings of abandonment and rejection overwhelm me. Instead, I simply have peace.

I knew what I had to do. It was time to move forward and fight. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to be the one to fight. None of the pain was my fault, but someone had to do the work. Someone had to heal.

When was the last time you asked someone, “Are you scared?”

This question has rattled around in my brain for the last few weeks, like an unspoken elephant in every room. The weight of fear has settled upon us, and yet I find no one asks this seemingly simple question, “Are you scared?”

I felt like I was doing everything that I could and nothing was changing. Life kept moving forward, time kept moving on, and I was forced to just be.

When they came to Mara, they could not drink the water because it was bitter. And the people grumbled.

Then it hit me. I had body aches.

Body aches can only mean one thing - the flu. As I realized that I was probably getting the flu, a sense of dread settled over me.

I once heard the question, “Which bible character do you think you are most like? And who do you most WISH you were like?”

When we refuse to be still and don’t wait on God, we rob him of the opportunity to BE GOD. We don’t allow Him to show His power because we’re too busy trying to do it ourself.

Sometimes we get out of sync with God. How do we find our way back?

The end of this year can give us hope at the beginning of the next.

There’s this place I find myself sometimes. I call it “the dark place”.