Girl...You gotta stop.

There are two types of people in the world…those who love to take medicine and those who do not.

My husband will hardly ever take anything. No matter how sick he is, no matter how much pain he is in, he tries to tough it out and make it through until the sickness or pain goes away. I, on the other hand, don’t mind taking medicine at all. If I even feel like I might get a headache, I pop some ibuprofen as a preventative measure. God gave us medicine…why not use it?

Last week, I realized that my “preventative” medicine-taking might have become a problem.

At the beginning of the year, I started allergy shots. I’ve struggled with allergies and asthma my whole life, and now living on the farm, my allergies have been unbearable. Allergy shots introduce the allergens into your system slowly over time and then maintain a maintenance dose until your body builds up immunity. It’s a big time commitment right away, but in the end, the goal is to make you not allergic anymore.

The only draw-back from allergy shots is there is a .1 percent chance patients can have a systemic allergic reaction (like…maybe I’d go into anaphylactic shock and die). Maybe death is a bit extreme, but the doctors made sure I understood the risks when I was starting. And it makes sense. They’re introducing something they KNOW I’m allergic to into my body. Of course there’s a chance my body could have a reaction. Because of this risk, they make me carry an epi-pen at all times.

Now, there’s something about carrying an epi-pen that scares the begeebies out of me. I’m not sure why, but it’s such a fear. How big is the needle? How much will it hurt? What if I passed out before I could inject it? When am I even supposed to know it’s so bad I SHOULD take it?

I know. I can see you shaking your head already. Chill out, Jess.

So anyways, on Wednesday I got my allergy shot and everything was fine. I went about my day, we had church that night and I led worship like normal. I’d had a sore throat for a few days, so after singing that night, my throat was a bit swollen but nothing crazy. I went home, put the kids to bed, and fell asleep myself.

I woke up coughing. It wasn’t a “cold” cough, but instead felt like a ball of phlegm was stuck in my throat. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I COULD breathe, but I got scared and felt like I couldn’t. I rolled out of bed and went right to the kitchen and took some cough medicine.

‘There, I’m good now,’ I thought. I went and sat on the couch, and as soon as I sat down, I noticed that my throat was swollen. The little paranoid voice in my head suddenly remembered that one way that a systemic reaction presents itself is a cough and a swollen throat. Instantly, my heart started to race, and I thought, ‘oh my gosh, I could be having an allergic reaction.’

I quickly walked to the bathroom and took a Benadryl. I sat back down and waited for the medicine to kick in. However, as I waited I felt my heart racing and also felt like I had body chills. Rather than getting calmer, I got more worked up. I went back into the bathroom and took another antihistamine I had. For good measure, on my way out, I decided it would be good to also take my albuterol inhaler “just in case”.

Stop shaking your head at me. Just stop. I know it was crazy.

As I sat down, all the medicines seemed to hit at once. The cough medicine stopped my cough, but raised my blood pressure. The Benadryl made me really sleepy, but I was so scared I couldn’t let myself fall asleep. The albuterol kicked in almost instantly and my heart was racing and my hands were shaking.

Ken came home from work to his wife freaking out in the living room, afraid she was going to die.

It’s ok. You can roll your eyes at me.

I sat on the couch and slowly realized what I had done. In my panic, I had taken a bunch of medicine that was all interacting in a really weird way together and the only thing I could do was ride it out. Taking more medicine would not fix the problem. Letting the medicine I had taken work its way out of my system was the only solution.

All I could think was, ‘Girl, you gotta stop.’

Aren’t we like this with life sometimes?

We’re told in Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.” Let’s be honest. We’re terrible at being still. Whether it’s social media and our phone, or the inability to just sit in the quiet, we’re so bad at waiting for anything.

But why are we so bad at it? Why can’t we just be still and wait for God? Sometimes we are apathetic. We don’t care what God has for our life. Or maybe we do care, but we’re too scared to take the path he calls us to.

Sometimes we’re excited! We get so passionate and excited about the call God has on our life, that we can’t wait. We want it to happen RIGHT NOW and we simply don’t wait on God.

Sometimes, we’re scared. We don’t trust God and we’re afraid he won’t come through. We’re afraid it’s going to hurt.

The phrase “be still” doesn’t mean we stop right where we are and tensely wait for God. Life isn’t a game of freeze tag. Be still literally means to “go slack”. Like a rope that is taught and tight that suddenly gets cut and falls to the ground, we are to “be still” and know that He is God. We must let the tension fade away as we wait on God, resting in the peace of knowing He is in control.

When we refuse to be still and don’t wait on God, we rob him of the opportunity to BE GOD. We don’t allow Him to show His power because we’re too busy trying to do it ourself.

I don’t know what you are walking through, but I do know no matter what, God is faithful. He’s true. His word if powerful and profound and is FULL of encouragement that will walk with you as you continue on your path.

When was the last time you truly just waited on God? When you didn’t act immediately, but instead you prayed, you relaxed into His presence and trusted that God would come through?

Today, be still. Settle in. Go slack. Let Him show you that He is God.